Embracing Dissatisfaction as an Invitation for Growth

Kate Volman [: 00:00:00

If you're going to accept the invitation to move forward and move past that and truly try to become the best version of yourself in all areas of life, then we get to decide what are we going to do next? What is the one thing that I'm going to do to move from feeling dissatisfied to just one step closer to feeling very satisfied? This is Lead With Culture. I'm Kate Volman, and on this episode, it's a short, mini episode, and we're talking about dissatisfaction. And while it may feel uncomfortable to feel dissatisfied, it can often be a gift. It can be an invitation for us to really hone in on an area of our life that we want to change, that we want to improve, and we have to listen to that dissatisfaction. But it's easier to not than it is to actually listen, especially because it can be uncomfortable. And oftentimes we have to tell ourselves truths that we may be avoiding. So Matthew shared this beautiful list of 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life. And question number three is, are you dissatisfied? And it's a great question that we get to dig into.

Kate Volman [: 00:01:28

And so let's hear what Matthew has to say about dissatisfaction.

Matthew Kelly [: 00:01:33

Welcome back to 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life. Question number three is about dissatisfaction. Most people think of dissatisfaction as a bad thing, but often it is just a messenger coming to deliver a message. And that message, well, it might be get your act together. It might be it's time for change. The message might be, stop procrastinating. You know what you need to do. Question number three, what are you dissatisfied with? And if a friend described your situation to you and asked your advice, how would you advise him or her? Your dissatisfaction may be caused by something large or small.

Matthew Kelly [: 00:02:21

And to some extent, it doesn't matter what is causing your dissatisfaction. What matters is how you respond to that dissatisfaction. Your dissatisfaction is an invitation to change, to grow, to wake up. Will you accept that invitation? Now that's the question.

Kate Volman [: 00:02:40

Will you accept the invitation? I love that. I love looking at this as an invitation, as an opportunity for us to get really real with ourselves and figure out what areas of our lives we feel dissatisfied. I laugh when he said, maybe the message is, get your act together. Have you ever thought that? Have you ever thought, oh, I need to. I need to get my act together. I need to make some changes. I need to do some things differently. We work with a lot of leaders, a lot of individuals, whether it's business coaching or life coaching.

Kate Volman [: 00:03:19

And there sometimes comes a time when we're having calls with them and they're that's what they're saying. They're like, it's time. It is time for me to finally, finally change some of this stuff in my life. But it can sometimes take a while to get to that place that we are so dissatisfied that we're finally going to change some of the habits in our life. He shares this same question in his journal, dig the well before you get thirsty. And so I'll share that question for you again to contemplate. What are you dissatisfied with? If a friend described that situation to you and asked for advice, how would you advise him or her? That's a really great question because we're very good at giving advice, right? When one of our friends or our family members comes to us and asks us for advice, we have just the answer. We see it so clearly what this person should do next.

Kate Volman [: 00:04:25

We love giving other people advice, but when it comes to giving ourselves advice, it's a little bit more challenging. We're too deep in our emotions sometimes, and so this allows us, this question allows us to step outside of ourselves a little bit and really look at life differently, to think about those different areas of your life so you have an opportunity to decide, where in my life do I feel dissatisfied and where in my life do I feel satisfied. And then when you identify the areas where you feel dissatisfied, Matthew said, will you accept the invitation? So if you're going to accept the invitation to move forward and move past that and truly try to become the best version of yourself in all areas of life, then we get to decide what are we going to do next? What is the one thing that I'm going to do to move from feeling dissatisfied to just one step closer to feeling very satisfied. And one of the ways that we can do that is by identifying what would this area look like if I was fully satisfied. So, for example, if you're feeling a little dissatisfied in your work, maybe in your job, instead of just, hey, I have to make a move or I'm going to quit or whatever. Sometimes we can make rash decisions. This is an opportunity for us to say, all right, I'm feeling dissatisfied. What would it look like if I felt very satisfied in this area of my life? What does that look like? What does that feel like? What am I doing? What skills am I using in the role that I'm in? How much am I making? It goes into this area of what does it need to look like? And only when we figure out what it needs to look like or what we really want it to look like, can we then put some action steps into place to create that better future for ourselves.

Kate Volman [: 00:06:32

If you're feeling a little bit dissatisfied in your relationship, this is your invitation to figure out what would it look like if I felt satisfied? And then you identify what's missing in that relationship. What are the areas that you and your significant other get to improve on, or your children or your family, whatever relationship you're feeling a little bit dissatisfied with? You get to decide, what does it look like if it was flourishing? If my relationship was flourishing, what does it look like? It means we're having deep, intimate, meaningful conversations. It means that we're both listening to each other. It means that I feel loved when I walk in the house. Like, what does that look like for you? And so when we describe in detail what it looks like, then we can decide, okay, what am I going to do next? So I can go from dissatisfied to satisfied. So think about what area of your life are you feeling very dissatisfied? What areas are you feeling extremely satisfied? And then start to figure out what are those small steps that you can take to move that needle just a little bit from dissatisfied to satisfied. I hope that you pondered this question. This is a great journaling prompt.

Kate Volman [: 00:07:55

Obviously, that's why Matthew put it in in one of his journals. But this is an opportunity for you to really dig in, for you to really think about your life. Like Matthew said, it's this invitation for you to explore that dissatisfaction, to not just let it go, to not let another year pass and start to take some actions to help you become the best version of yourself in all areas. Thank you so much for listening. I hope that you found this mini episode inspiring and empowering. I do hope you take some time to think about those areas of your life. If you're interested in learning about how a coach can really help you explore some of these questions and some of these ideas to really help you grow personally and professionally. We would love to chat with you about what that could look like and you can go to floydcoaching.com and someone on our team will reach out to you.

Kate Volman [: 00:08:55

You are awesome. Thank you so much for listening. We appreciate you. And until next time, Lead With Culture.