It Doesn’t Have to be Lonely at the Top with Jessica Pfau, CEO of Lighthouse Behavioral Wellness Center

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We talked about some of the challenges that come along with leading a team, dealing with challenging times and why it can definitely feel a little bit lonely at the top. Enjoy this episode.

Jessica. Hi. Thank you so much for chatting with us today. I am so excited to have you on.

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have such a fun conversation, and I'm excited to dig into it because,we've been working with you for a few years now so there's lots to discuss, lots to talk about. but before we dive in, why don't you share a little bit about, lighthouse and what you do over there?

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of people that need our help.

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job for me.

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and what coaching has done for you.

So talk a little bit about your journey with the Dream manager.

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n the Dream Manager it was in: 2020

and it's worked.

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We were dealing with a lot of uncertainty. we're always dealing with uncertainty, but this was just at a different level we weren't used to. when you were searching for something, what were you looking for? what had you kind of experienced in the past?

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so through that C 12 group, I learned about the Dream Manager program. Somebody mentioned it, we watched a video. I read the book. I'm just constantly looking for ways to improve and so that just fit with us. then when I discovered that you guys also did coaching it was just the,

ring that time, especially in: 2020

Went away immediately in: 2020

I didn't do it because it was: 2020

worked out beautifully.

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So what were some of the things that you experienced with your sessions?

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there was no getting around, In a group, you can kind of go, well, I don't have anything to report today. when you're sitting there one-on-one, she's like, okay, tell me what you've been working on for the last month. and it was wonderful. because through her, coaching, she helped me to understand, and I kind of mentioned this already, but helped me to really figure out what was important, not only to me, but to lighthouse.

lly in that turbulent time of: 2020

as the coach, she doesn't have a stake in the outcome, her objectivity also helped a lot. I found it refreshing because it wasn't a family member, it wasn't a coworker, it wasn't an employee. I could really talk to her about some concerns and fears and, thoughts that I had.

And she could objectively help me think through them.

And that was one of the most valuable, insights that I had, especially in that time of 20 20, 20

21.

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she has been, so much fun. the other piece of that accountability is also when things were successful that we had talked about and planned, and she helped me think through and then it worked. That was so much fun to share that with her.

and I looked forward to talking with her about the different milestones that we were, attaining. and I also felt very free and safe in that conversation with her becauseI could really tell her anything

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to your people?

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And so she's helped me to slow down a little bit and to say, tell me more about what you think. How would you do it? What would work best for you and it has helped. I can tell that, it's made me a better leader because now people aren't coming to me for, red or blue, red green or white green.

they get to make those decisions and it's not always on me, And then the second thing is it's empowering them, to think a little more critically and. I feel that her coaching has helped me to do that, just to be mindful of the behaviors that I tend to go toward.

because she's gotten to know me so well over these last three years. She has recognized some tendencies that I have and has helped me to, focus on the strengths and let go of those that aren't so helpful.

So it's been really good.

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and also you said that you don't want to disappoint her. isn't that funny how we don't want to disappoint our coach yet we will disappoint ourselves. Before we had a coach all day, we will not do the thing we said we were going to do for weeks, months, years. The second you have a coach, you're doing that thing because you don't want to go and disappoint your coach, which I find so.

funny

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She helped me think through it. And then the next month it was still struggling along and she finally said, How long are you gonna put up with this

That was a really tough question because I realized that I was allowing this behavior to continue, and I said, I don't wanna allow it anymore. And she said, okay, let's talk through what you need to do. To fix the behavior and we ended up having to let the person go. it's not something fun to have to do, but she helped me to stop dragging it out and, It helped me to make the decision I needed to make and it was better for Lighthouse when this person left. and so I appreciated that, accountability, that tough question. I really needed it. And that's the

kind of thing that a coach can do.

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helped

you. With the confidence in that decision that

you're

making.

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And that's where, I feel like I became a better leader through that conversation with her. And I know that I helped Lighthouse, because the recognition that that person was not, helping us, I needed to really see that and she helped me to do that. the impact of a coach is, It's measurable, yet hard to measure all at the same time.

but I can look back on where I was three years ago and see a huge growth. I am much, stronger now, a lot of that is because of the work that I've done with Michelle as my coach and then also going through the Dream Manager program with her, which helped me to. Recognize what's important to me personally and what's important to me professionally.

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A little lonely because we can't go to our coworkers and share our deepest, darkest, you know when we're feeling like we don't really know where we're going. And so

we can be vulnerable with our team, of course, but not in certain situations.

We can't share everything with them. And so why do you feel that it's important for CEOs, executives, leaders that sometimes feel like they're in a little silo? why is it important for. more of those leaders

to

get a coach.

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d of helped me, especially in: 2020

I remember talking to people to staff and saying, it's gonna be okay. We're doing great. you're gonna be all right.

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Exactly. And so to be able to have that coach that I could call and it's hard for me to put into words yet the feeling is very strong that, if there is a c e O out there or a leader of an organization, an owner of a company that is thinking ah, I might need a coach, I wanna get better, my answer would always be, yes, the investment is worth it.

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way for a leader to do

that.

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So talk a little bit about that. Why was it important to you for your executive team to start getting coaching and the Dream Manager too? Why has that been such a,important part for you?

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But then work-wise, I also feel like I've grown as a leader. And so as I sit around, with my leadership team, I want them to have those same experiences. our whole leadership team is gonna go through the Dream Manager program, starting in July. So it's a year long program.

Very, very excited about that. And part of that is some of the coaching too. I'm really looking forward to. Hearing about how it goes with them. I know they're just gonna love it and grow as leaders. And that's an exciting, thing because I know as our leaders, as our chief level leaders get stronger again, the whole organization's gonna get better.

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when they grow personally and professionally, then you're creating a coaching culture. So you're getting coached and now you get to take that and, work with your team on it. So they're already learning and growing just because you're becoming a better coach.

And now they're gonna have. Specific one-on-one coaching. So they're gonna learn all those similar questions and how to think through their decision making process. And then, so it's just gonna trickle down. And so now everyone in the organization is gonna be having these conversations about growth and personal development and all of these different things to help them grow as individuals and help with communication, empathy, trust.

All of these things come especially with Dream Manager because your team is talking about their dreams. and they're celebrating each other. And when we talk about our dreams, we start connecting on a deeper level. We start realizing like, oh wow, I had no idea that Jessica had a dream of going to Italy.

I do too. you know, we, just get to feed off of each other. So talk a little bit about how you've experienced that in the people that work there.

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when my parents passed away, A few years ago, the Dream Manager Program really helped me to understand what legacy did I want to leave for them It was something I didn't realize I was holding onto, but I was, and once that came up, because one of the levels of the Dream Manager program is there's all these different categories, and one of 'em is legacy.

And we talked a lot about my parents and what I wanted to do to honor them. and it just meant so much to me. I felt happier, I felt, More confident because I was able to honor them. and so that's just one little example of what was going on with me. But then I have all these other staff members that are going through the same thing and it brings this comradery together that is hard To replicate without it.

secondly, and almost more importantly, cuz here I am the CEO with my c e o hat on, it reminds people that their job is really important because it's hard to fulfill a dream if you don't have a job.

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them.

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Lighthouse is investing in me. this is a great place to work. They care about me and I wanna care about them. And so,I've really seen this, bond that has grown a among those that have gone through the program. So we now have a little over 40 staff that have gone through the program with our full-time Dream Manager, and I can really see the impact that it's making.

So I'm excited to let our Csuite group go through it too. They've seen it too, but they haven't had a chance to experience it, and so I think they're gonna have, some really fun,

experiences over the next

year.

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But once you just take a few sessions in. I mean, it's so interesting. There's organizations that we'll work with and we'll have some of their dreamers who wanted to do it, but also they were very, Skeptical and after about three or four sessions, those are the people that even in the beginning they might come to a first session like, I don't know how much I want to say to you, who are you?

you're this stranger. And, all of a sudden they're telling you they're deepest, darkest fears and dreams and you've built this relationship with them and It's one more reminder of how we are all so much more similar than we are different and how dreams connect each one of us, and how everybody really just needs a safe space to talk

to someone about what's going on in their brain and their minds and, especially today with so much going on.

we live in such a. Interesting time of pandemics and AI and all the things that are happening. It's like people's lives are becoming more and more dysfunctional as we're growing, unless we're really intentional about making sure that we're staying on track.

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because it's not, therapy, it's not a counselor that you're talking with, it's a coach. And every good team has a coach. you got to have that person who's on the sidelines that are, cheering you on, that is making you go that extra mile.

That is, working on the playbook, helping you learn all those things to use, athletic metaphors, But I think that's really the difference. so some of that hesitation there, I think sometimes comes from this thought of,you're my therapist. And that's not at all what it is.

it's a true coach for your leadership. Working through how to be a better CEO for this company, to all the staff who are counting on me, to make good decisions. and it is, you mentioned how sometimes it feels really lonely and it, does sometimes. and that's where the coach comes in and can really, help focus and help me move forward.

In a confident way, and it has changed Lighthouse because of that benefit. And I wanna make sure that the rest of the leadership staff, also experience

that.

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coaching, it's worth the investment.

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And so what would you share to people that are saying, all right, Jessica, fine, but what's the r o I really in coaching? how do you measure the roi?

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So your question is an roi? Well, dollar for dollar. that's hard to say. Well,I put this $1 in the coaching and I got $3 back. but over time I can say that I would say it's similar to exercising. I can't say, well, I work out this morning and therefore I'm healthier, but if I work out regularly each week, I am healthier.

And so it, would be similar to that, it's a long-term investment that does improve. The life of the person being coached, and in turn, it improves the company that they're leading. There's no way that it can't, because if I become a better person, I'm happier, I'm calmer, I feel better with my decisions that's going to affect those around me and make my company stronger.

So circling back around with the roi, I don't know. I would just say, Hey dude, you're just gonna have to

try it.

And there you have it. that is the perfect answer. if you are getting better, your people are getting better, the business is going to get better.

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Obviously it's worked for you. And because it's worked for you, you know it's gonna work for your team. And as long as everyone, is growing both personally and professionally, how could the organization not grow? it just wouldn't happen.

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and. it goes back to the coaching that outlet that I had, that safe space that I was able to use when things were really hard. I could come into my office, have this discussion with Michelle, figure it out,

And I knew that I was making a good decision, and it was the right thing, so I would encourage anyone that's thinking

about it to do it.

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what is one skill or area that you'd like to improve? Maybe it's becoming a better communicator with your team or being more strategic or intentional about your leadership style. It's so important for us to recognize like, how are we leading our team?

what are the things that, we can improve so that we're not only helping our team grow, but we're continuously growing as a leader. Because that's what's so beautiful, right? When we, discover those skills, it helps us become a better leader.

We're also becoming a better team member, a better spouse, a better friend, a better significant other.

So what is one skill you can improve that would help you in multiple areas of your life? What is one area that you really wanna get good at, you wanna get better at? It's definitely a question worth considering.

And that is what coaching does for us.

That's why having a coach, having that third party person that is there with you that understands your challenges that you get to talk to every single month so that they learn a little bit more about you and your style. And they're gonna see the blind spots that you don't see. They're gonna see the things that, you do well, that you might not be giving yourself credit for, and those things that, you might need to consider.

Diving into a little bit more and developing some of those skills. And that's why having a coach is so powerful. so I loved this conversation with Jessica because obviously she's getting a lot out of coaching, becoming a better individual, becoming a better leader, and obviously just when we get better in certain skills, we're living a more fulfilling life because we're.

really tapping into our brilliance and our creativity. So, if you've never considered, hiring a coach, if you've never had a coach, but you're like, Hmm, I dunno, maybe that would be good. Hey, you get at least an hour, once a month to talk about your favorite subject, you, and what's going on with you and your world and your life and your team.

and coaches ask really great questions to help you, figure out those next step, those moves. That you need to be making in order to help yourself grow, help your team grow, and ultimately help the organization grow. So if you're interested in, learning what that might look like for you, we would love to talk to you.

you can go to floyd coaching.com and fill out that form and one of our team members would love to hop on the phone, chat with you about where you are now, where you wanna go, and how a coach will absolutely make a huge impact in your life.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. We hope you enjoyed it. And until next time, lead with culture.