Embracing the Gift of Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy

Kate Volman [: 00:00:00

Leisure ushers us into harmony with ourselves. But here's the problem. We are bad at leisure. A lot of leaders are bad at leisure, right? Because we are in this constant need for growth and development. And it's very challenging to shut down our minds, to shut it off and just allow ourselves to relax. I'm excited about this episode because we're changing things up. It's a little bit different than most of our episodes today. We're talking a little bit about Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy.

Kate Volman [: 00:00:36

This is one of Matthew's most recent books. It is a beautiful book. One of the things I love so much about it is the title. The title, even if you don't read the book, the title makes you feel something, which is a beautiful thing. He's got a gift for coming up with great titles of books. The subtitle is The Simple Art of Taking Back Your Life. We're going to talk a little bit about some of the ideas in this book to hopefully inspire you to slow down to the speed of joy. Even when you say it, don't you just feel this sense of peace and calm? So this is going to be a great episode to share with your team members, with your friends, a spouse, your colleagues.

Kate Volman [: 00:01:19

Because in this crazy world that we're living in, with just such fast paced, all the time screens and devices that we're looking at and experiencing just so many things all at once, giving ourself that gift of taking a step back and allowing ourselves to be still, to be calm and give ourself permission to chill, to relax, to do some of the things that bring us joy. This is a very personal book to Matthew because he shares so much of his story and his 30 years of running from thing to thing and just constantly speaking on so many stages and traveling to so many different places and just this constant being productive all the time. And then he discovered, wait a second, I'm gonna take a step back and slow down and see how that impacts and changes my life. And so this is really what that book is about. It is beautiful. It is amazing. If you haven't yet read it, I highly encourage you to read it. The cover even says, Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy isn't just a book, it's a way of life.

Kate Volman [: 00:02:31

It will, quite simply and in every way imaginable change your life, which is what Matthew does with his books. So let's dig into a couple of the ideas in the book that will help you think about your life a little bit differently and encourage you to slow down to the speed of joy. And I'm also going to ask you a couple of questions at the end to help you on this journey. Okay, Here we go. He says, true leisure is a condition of the soul, not the absence of work. It isn't doing nothing, it is doing something. But specific types of activity which allow us to adopt an attitude of inward calm. Leisure teaches us to become a person who is essentially oriented toward the whole of reality.

Kate Volman [: 00:03:17

Leisure enables us to go out into the world and remain fully human. Leisure ushers us into harmony with ourselves. But here's the problem. We are bad at leisure. We are bad at leisure. Now, obviously, it goes on and on and describes what that means, but are you bad at leisure? A lot of leaders are bad at leisure, right? Because we are in this constant need for growth and development. And it's very challenging to shut down our minds, to shut it off and just allow ourselves to relax. It is challenging for us.

Kate Volman [: 00:03:52

I can't tell you how many leaders that we talk to that will say, I want to meditate, but I can't. I can't shut my mind off. And they think that they're unique. But no, this is a big challenge among a lot of people, especially today, because we are constantly on our phone and there's so we have just so much stimulation that it's really challenging for us to sit in silence, to not want to pick up our phone, to not want to do something, to not want to be productive all the time. Are you bad at leisure? On a scale of 1 to 10, what rating would you give yourself when it comes to leisure? Be honest. You can decide where you are today and then make some steps to. To get a little bit better at leisure. Without even going into any more of the details of the book, what does leisure mean to you? What do you love to do? What are the activities that bring you joy? Is it.

Kate Volman [: 00:04:46

Do you want to go play golf? Maybe you want to hang out by the pool, spend time with your kids, put your phone away and go take a walk or a hike? What does leisure look like to you? It looks different to you than it does to me and, and other people, your family and your friends. So what does leisure look and feel like to you? Matthew says, if we don't learn to incorporate leisure into our lives, we will never escape the tyranny of always working. If we don't learn to exist beyond work, we will never embrace leisure, learn to flourish and live a fully human life. Leisure is that essential. We need leisure. We need to relax. We need to chill Out. Give yourselves time.

Kate Volman [: 00:05:29

In fact, there's a whole section of the book where, where Matthew talks about practicing the Sabbath, giving yourself that day, giving yourself that day to relax, to enjoy your family, and to do some of the things that you love. Okay, check this out. He says work is easier than leisure. That's right. It's much easier to work more than to slow down and learn how to practice Sabbath. One reason is because we know how to work. It is comfortable, whereas we need to learn how to practice Sabbath. Work is easier than leisure.

Kate Volman [: 00:06:01

Isn't that crazy? But it's true. We know what we need to do, we know what needs to get done, and so it's easier to do that. I have so many friends of mine that, that say, it's so hard for me to just sit on the couch and chill and relax, or to go and take a walk and not think about the hundreds of things that are on their to do list. But how much more fulfilling is it when we allow ourselves to do some of the things that we love? We get that energy, that enthusiasm, all the things that we do that bring us joy, that joy sparks energy, and then we bring that energy with us the next day. It's okay for us to relax a little bit. Only by relaxing and slowing down a little bit are we then able to give ourselves fully into every area of our lives. He says the mistaken belief that leisure should be easy is an enemy to success. Leisure requires that we must learn to do nothing.

Kate Volman [: 00:06:58

And most people are horrible at doing nothing. Leisure requires that we learn to enjoy doing things just for the joy of it and not because of the outcome it may produce. Just for the joy of it, what do you love to do just for the joy of it? Maybe you love gardening or yoga or being out in nature. Maybe you love making. Making jewelry or painting or pottery. Maybe you love to write poetry or read. When was the last time you sat down and just allowed yourself to read a really great book? Are you giving yourself time to slow down? Those are just a few of the ideas in Matthew's book, Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy. I highly recommend you.

Kate Volman [: 00:07:48

You read it. Give yourself some time to sit down and read this book. You will not regret it. It will change your life. It'll change the way you think about how you're working. It'll change the way you think about how you want to spend time with your family. And it might actually spark some of the creative dreams in your heart that you've given up or that maybe you've said, I should shouldn't pursue playing the piano, even though I love it and it brings me so much joy because it's a waste of time. Just because you don't want to be a musician for a living doesn't mean you shouldn't spend time practicing piano or writing music or whatever.

Kate Volman [: 00:08:31

Whatever brings you joy. So here are two questions to ask yourself. Two questions to ask yourself to help you on your journey to slow down to the speed of joy. And the first one is, what activity that brings you joy? Have you stopped doing? And how can you bring it back into your life? This is your opportunity to think about just one activity that you love, that when you do, oh, it brings you so much joy. Whatever it is, like we said, it's different for everyone. What is that one activity that you've given up? And then how can you incorporate it back into your life? How can you put it into your calendar this week, right now, add it to your calendar and give yourself that space to enjoy it and you can even track? How did that make you feel? How did taking this, this activity that you love so much and putting it back into your calendar, how did that change your life this week? Question number two. How might slowing down and making more time for leisure help you become the best version of yourself? This is a great question to ponder. It's a great journaling prompt.

Kate Volman [: 00:09:43

Take some time to think about. What would that look like if you actually gave yourself some time to slow down, to sit in silence, maybe even meditate a little bit? How would that change your life? What would that do for you? How would that help you become a better leader, a better parent, a better, a better spouse, a better friend, a better daughter or aunt or whatever roles you play in your life? How might slowing down help you become a better version of yourself? So those are two questions that I challenge you to think about, to journal about and see what shows up. You might surprise yourself. I hope this episode inspired you in some way and I hope that you do. Take some time to think about those questions. And of course, pick up your copy of Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy by Matthew Kelly. It is an incredible book. You will thank yourself for reading it.

Kate Volman [: 00:10:43

As always, thank you so much for listening. And until next time, Lead with Culture.